DISGUSTING PURPLE SOUP

DISGUSTING PURPLE SOUP

Halloween 2016 is 257 days away.

In my first week of Weight Watchers I lost 3 pounds. Down from 245.5 lbs. to 242.5 lbs.

Which is good news! Sure I’ve probably taken shits heavier than three pounds, but it’s progress.

Was I as vigilant as I should have been in counting points and exercising? No I was not.

Am I easing myself into a realistic change in lifestyle? You bet your skinny ass I am.

I’m a firm believer in the idea that if something is going to stick, it’s gotta be easy.

Anyone who is familiar with Weight Watchers knows about Zero Point Soup or as I like to call it: Disgusting Red Soup. It’s a cabbage soup, considered to be one of the most powerful weapons in a weight watcher’s arsenal, alongside meringues and watching food television instead of eating.

Basically you take cabbage, carrots, green beans, zucchini, onions and garlic, chop it into various shapes and sizes, and boil it in vegetable broth with a little tomato paste (hence the red).

As I am trying to trick myself into putting effort into losing weight, I made a huge batch of Disgusting Red Soup to reluctantly eat all week. But I used purple cabbage, so the whole thing turned purple-- It’s kind of a “Bullshit Borscht,” and it truly looks like a culinary abomination. Imagine carrots and green beans drowning in an enchanted cartoon swamp.

No one said getting pretty was going to be pretty. I’ve started running on a treadmill (almost) every day and the chub rub between my thighs looks like the surface of Mars.

But ugly soup and skin conditions aside, I feel like I’m gaining some momentum. When I force myself to eat disgusting purple soup, I find that I’m more motivated to go running. When I go running, I find that I’m more motivated to do squats-- which still count even if you do them while you watch Downton Abbey… I checked.