CHEAT DAZE

On this the 229th day before Halloween 2016, let’s take a moment to talk about cheat days, because every day in the near past has been just that, a cheat day.

I don’t necessarily believe in the concept of a cheat day. I don’t think that treating yourself or loosening the reins a little is a bad thing and I think guilt is an emotion best reserved for murder and littering.

But when I found myself hiding behind a chair and tearing into the spinach-dip-soaked husk of a party-sized bread bowl, I really took a hard look at myself and thought: Is this really what’s best for me?

The answer was obviously "no."

That was two weekends ago. I was at home in Philadelphia visiting with my friends and family. I was greeted with a giant bag of cookies, and my mom asked me to help her bake a flourless chocolate cake. I ate everything I could see. I realized that while a lot of my friends have coffee problems, I have a toffee problem. But whatever, it just means we can always meet at Starbucks.

(I hate hate hate Starbucks, it’s MacDonalds but worse. That’s a post for another day.)

I am happy to say that I did get my act together. While I didn’t lose any weight that week, I didn’t gain any either. I made it to the gym (once) and instead of meeting for drinks, a friend and I walked the Williamsburg bridge and caught up.

Then this past weekend hit. I was going to be good. I was going to eat carrots in front of the TV and watch all 13 hours of House of Cards.

But when presented with the option to not be an antisocial hermit, I took it… especially because that option came with pasta.

Almost all the socializing I do is centered around food. Going out to dinner, going out to brunch, drinking, eating a stranger’s birthday cake by the fistful at 3 am in a basement bar, this is how I stay in contact with the people around me.

Socializing is important to me because I’m a textbook extrovert. I get my energy from external sources. It’s code for: Please pay attention to me.

And while you’re paying attention, please provide snacks. Anything from Trader Joe’s that’s dipped in chocolate will do just fine. But they do have chocolate covered toffee and I would prefer that. THANKKKKSSSSSXXOO